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My Six Favourite Love Poems

Posted on February 14, 2013

Love is in the air. Well, perhaps not exactly, but it’s being advertised all over the internet and you can buy massive bouquets of flowers that will die slowly come February 15th. That’s love for you: full of vibrance one day, wilted and dead the next. On that happy note, here are eight of my favourite love poems:

1.  A Summer’s Day by Tom Leonard

This is at the top of my list primarily because of the elegance of its inelegance. Tom Leonard isn’t as well known as other Scottish poets, so here’s all you need to know about him to enjoy this poem: he writes in a glasgow accent.

Yir eyes ur
eh
a mean yir
pirrit this wey
ah a thingk yir
byewtifl like ehm
fact
fact a thingk yir
ach a luvyi that’s
thahts
jist thi wey it iz like
thahts ehm
aw ther iz ti say


2. Sonnet 116: “Let Me Not to the Marriage of True Minds” by William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.0

3. Mad Girl’s Love Song by Sylvia Plath
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
I think I made you up inside my head.

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
I think I made you up inside my head.

God topples from the sky, hell’s fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan’s men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you’d return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
I think I made you up inside my head.

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
I think I made you up inside my head.

4. Never try to trick me with a kiss by Sylvia Plath
Never try to trick me with a kiss
Pretending that the birds are here to stay;
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

A stone can masquerade where no heart is
And virgins rise where lustful Venus lay:
Never try to trick me with a kiss.

Our noble doctor claims the pain is his,
While stricken patients let him have his say;
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

Each virile bachelor dreads paralysis,
The old maid in the gable cries all day:
Never try to trick me with a kiss.

The suave eternal serpents promise bliss
To mortal children longing to be gay;
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

Sooner or later something goes amiss;
The singing birds pack up and fly away;
So never try to trick me with a kiss:
The dying man will scoff and scorn at this.

5. Speak! by William Wordsworth
Why art thou silent! Is thy love a plant
Of such weak fibre that the treacherous air
Of absence withers what was once so fair?
Is there no debt to pay, no boon to grant?
Yet have my thoughts for thee been vigilant–
Bound to thy service with unceasing care,
The mind’s least generous wish a mendicant

For naught but what thy happiness could spare.
Speak — though this soft warm heart, once free to hold
A thousand tender pleasures, thine and mine,
Be left more desolate, more dreary cold
Than a forsaken bird’s-nest fill’d with snow’
Mid its own bush of leafless eglantine
Speak, that my torturing doubts their end may know.

6.  My Love is Like a Cabbage by Anonymous
My Love is Like a Cabbage
That’s easy to cut in two
The leaves I’ll give to others,
But the heart I’ll give to you

Short Link: http://ow.ly/imAsY

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CUNY Writers’ Institute Assignment #1 (John Freeman, Editor of GRANTA): Rewriting the Folktale, “The Sparrow and the Crow,” Complete with caste/racial undertones, violence, and Bird Burnings. . . . .

Posted on February 7, 2013

About two years ago, I wrote a blog post for The Langar Hall titled, Ik Si Chiri, Te Ik Si Kaan: The Slow Death of Punjabi Folktales where I talked about the watering down/Disneyfication of traditional Punjabi folktales to make them palatable to a modern audience. The version my parents used to tell me and my sister at bedtime or on Sunday mornings was filled with violence and caste undertones (and yet we turned out so well), but structurally it had a happy ending. The version my parents told was always told in Punjabi and it went something like this:

“Ik si chirri te ik si kaan (roughly, “Once upon a time there lived a sparrow and a crow,” but a more literal translation is, “Once, there existed a Sparrow and a Crow,” which doesn’t flow quite as nicely). They decided to make khichri – a lentil and rice dish, and the sparrow went and stole the lentils from a cripple (sometimes an old woman), while the crow went and found each discarded grain all over the countryside and would hand it to the increasingly frustrated sparrow, who had already got the lentils sorted and had put in the pot to be cooked. As the crow gave her each grain of rice, she added it. By evening, the crow had finally deposited the last of the rice and was famished, so he came in and was ready to eat. But the sparrow told him to go wash his face and hands in a nearby stream.

In the meantime, she eats all of the khichri and hides. The crow comes back and is furious to find an empty pot, so he heats up a sewing needle and pricks it into the sparrow’s bottom, as she screams out, “cheeen, cheeen, mera poonja sarriya,” and he replies with, “kyon khichar paraya khaada,” which loses its flavour in English, but translates to: “Oww, Owww, my tail is on fire,” “Why did you eat someone else’s food?” See, I told you it lost its flavour.

Often, my parents would add different dramatic elements to it by adding curtains, different furniture in the house, setting it in different places, dramatizing things a bit more, but the core of the story remained the same and the sparrow was always the antagonist, whereas the crow was the protagonist and the sparrow got her just desserts.

A great resource . . . actually, the ONLY resource for anything relating to this folktale in an adult conversation  is “Two Tales of Crow and Sparrow: A Freudian Folkloristic Essay on Caste and Untouchability,” by Alan Dundes published in 1997. As far as I know, nothing has been published on the subject since or before. In the essay, Alan analyzes various versions of the tale with some good ole literary criticism. Mostly, I enjoyed reading the different versions of a tale that is very familiar to me.

Other versions specifically refer to the crow as a Malar – an untouchable, or to his dirty face, and would cast him as the villain, where he attempts to eat the sparrow’s children; she tells him to go wash himself in the Ganges (silly crow, you’re too dark to purify yourself!), and eventually he is outsmarted by a blacksmith who burns him to death.

Another version, where the Sparrow is the protagonist, has her take pity on Crow (also a female in this version, otherwise the Sparrow comes across as a Whore-Bird, and that is very unladylike) when Crow’s nest made of salt dissolves during the monsoon. Sparrow lets Crow into her home and allows her to sleep in the room they keep the food supply. Crow being dark skinned and all takes advantage of the pious Sparrow. Not only does she eat their entire food supply, but she shits in the bags of whatever the regional food item is (it varies, depending on if the tale is in Tamil, Hindi, or Gujarati – connoting the different regions they are set). The next morning, the children put their hands in the bags and flip out as they have been polluted. The sparrow is furious and when the idiot crow returns home that evening, she sets her on fire. Interestingly enough, I haven’t read any version of this story in which the crow plays the tragic hero, where he is the protagonist, yet still gets burned to death while the privileged Sparrow gets away with sending him to his death.

And that is the first story I am writing for my first submission for John Freeman’s class at the CUNY Writers’ Program (editor at GRANTA). The assignment is to rewrite a folktale or myth.

The text John Freeman asked us to read to give us an idea of how to retell these stories was, “Italian Folktales” by Italo Calvino, which I’ve only read about fifty of 600 some pages! So far, I’m finding the subject to be interesting and overall find the reading to be entertaining, but it definitely puts me to sleep if I read more than a couple stories at a time. The few stories I’ve read are written in similar plot-driven narratives  (here is the main character, here are the fantastic things that happens to him, and this is what happens in the end). I really enjoyed the commentary on the changes Italo made to some of the stories. I forget the story, but it originally featured a dragon, which he changed to a giant octopus because he thought it was more dramatic and a bit more difficult to kill. And its death is described pretty brutally and vividly, with its tentacles quivering and squirting black ink blood all over the place.

I haven’t seen much in terms of originality in retelling of Indian folktales or myths. The alarming trend is to water them down significantly, so they can be animated for children, and the core of the story is lost. This is obviously not exclusive to India, but in other countries you at least have the option of finding a book of the original stories. Try doing a search for Indian folktales on google or amazon, or look for it at your local bookshop, and most likely you’ll find the same watered down versions. They’ve even started watering down classics from the Panchtantra, the Ramayana, and Mahabarata.

There is a huge disneyfication of classic “Western” folktales like Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, and Rapunzel, etc. (on a side note: what the hell was up with the last movie adaptation of Red Riding Hood. Just because you took out the word, “Little” doesn’t mean you can just add a friggin werewolf into the story. Why not add some shape shifters, vampires, and zombies while you’re at it?).

Fortunately, there is a revival bubbling on this front, with books like, “There Once Lived a Woman Who Tried to Kill Her Neighbor’s Baby: Scary Fairy Tales”  by Ludmilla Petrushevskaya, and the utterly original Six Gun Snow White by Catherynne M. Valente, which comes out this month. Catherynne sets the story in the wild, wild, West, with Snow White no longer the damsel in distress, but an outlaw, along with six other tough as nails frontier women.

I love the fact that she infused race into the retelling of this story by making Snow White’s mother, a native American woman forced to marry an abusive white male businessman. Cue Snow White’s jealous bitch of a stepmother with her magic mirror, and a Catch Me If You Can adventure ensues with Snow dressing as a boy to get to Crow Territory.  It just sounds like such a fun story to write. Her other novel aimed at 10-year-olds is a lovely read too:  The Girl Who Fell Beneath Fairyland and Led the Revels There.

I cannot end this post without mentioning the most brilliant collection of children’s stories written by Heinrich Hoffman in 1845, titled Struwwelpeter, specifically aimed at children aged 3-5. He just couldn’t find a good children’s book out there, so he decided to write one himself, and boy am I glad he did because I bet I won’t have much trouble getting Kavya to brush her teeth after I read her one of these stories.

The stories center around morality and the gruesome consequences of not being nice or doing what your parents tell you to do. It’s written in rhymes and is definitely up there with the Gashlycrumb Tinies (an illustrated ABCD book about dying children: “A is for Amy who fell down the stairs. B is for Basil assaulted by bears…”).

Here are some quick examples:

In “Die Geschichte vom Daumenlutscher” (The Story of the Thumb-Sucker), a mother warns her son not to suck his thumbs. And of course, this fool sucks his thumb, so naturally a tailor who happens to be passing by cuts off the disobedient child’s thumbs with a massive pair of scissors.”

There’s even one to combat racism and school bullying: “In ‘Die Geschichte von den schwarzen Buben’ (The Story of the Black Boys), Nikolas catches three boys teasing a dark-skinned boy. To teach them a lesson, he dips the three boys in black ink, to make them even darker-skinned than the boy they’d teased.”

The intention is something I find fascinating because it is aimed at children to instill and enforce morals similar to the way the Bible and the concept of God was taught to children back then, rather than a folktale intending to preserve a culture. I can just imagine a mum saying, “eat your soup or you’re going to die a slow and painful death like Suppen-Kasper.” Will make a great present for a 3 year old. Not mine though. She prefers Cinderella whose stepsisters don’t chop off parts of their feet as they try to fit their blood-soaked stumps into Cinderella’s glass slipper.

Anyway, John Freeman’s folktale assignment sounds like it will be fun to write because . .  .well, it just sounds like fun. And it’s short: 1500 words. In my version of the Sparrow and the Crow, I am setting it in the Panchganga ghat in Benares, where all five Holy Rivers converge, and making the underlying caste issues a little more pronounced. There will be khichri and bird burning involved. Right, enough dawdling about. Time for me to get to work – I have a pretty intense first submission for my other instructor, Kent Carroll of Europa Publishing due in about a week as well, where we have to write up a synopsis to a new novel, an opening paragraph, AND fifteen pages of our Works in Progress. Inconceivable (come on, don’t tell me I’m the only bloke who references Princess Bride)!

What’s your favourite folktale/myth/fairytale?

Short Link: http://ow.ly/imAAq

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CUNY Writers’ Institute – Semester 2 Begins (Spring 2013)

Posted on February 4, 2013

We’ve officially returned for our second and final semester at the CUNY Writers’ Institute, and I must say that although I am sad it is almost over, I am also very excited about what will happen during the semester. Not only because of the forced deadlines and reconnecting with my classmates, but because of the instructors, and perhaps most importantly – the kinds of assignments we’re being asked to complete. It’s quite a change from last semester with Jonathan Galassi of FSG and Matt Weiland of W.W.Norton. This semester, we are taking workshops with John Freeman, Editor of Granta and Kent Caroll of Europa. And it is going to be intense, especially in Kent’s class. For John’s class, he’s already got reading assignments that we will discuss, in addition to writing assignments.

So here are the assignments:

John Freeman, Granta

  • Assignment #1: Read Italo Calvino’s, “Italian Folktales,” and use that as inspiration to rewrite a folktale of your choosing (1,500 words)
  • Assignment #2: Read Raj Paramesweran’s, “I am an Executioner: Love Stories,” and write a 3,000 word short story in which something incredible happens.
  • Assignment #3: Read George Saunders,’ “The Tenth of December,” and write a 5,000 word short story that uses two points of view.

Kent Carroll, Europa

  • Assignment #1: Imagine a new novel in its entirety: 1) summarize it in a single paragraph; 2) give the story a title; 3) Write a first sentence and a first paragraph.  If you send me your postal address, I’ll forward, as an example, a substantial novel I’ve recently reissued which has an excellent title and one of the best opening sentences ever written.
  • Assignment #2: Complete the first chapter of the new novel (5-7 pages/ 1500 to 2000 words). The object here is to introduce the core elements: voice, character, setting, the theme or principal motifs.
  • Assignment #3: Rewrite the last chapter of a short novel – a literary thriller – that I will provide. The novel was mostly well received on publication a few years ago. The critical dissent usually cited a disappointing ending.

Your writing assignments and a short section – no more than 15 pages – from a work in progress is due on the Monday before the Thursday the group convenes.
Kent is essentially asking us to complete a synopsis/Query of a brand new novel in addition to our Work in Progress, which is a pretty terrifying thought since I’ve only just managed to write out the first chapter of my novel, and that too I’m planning to rewrite!

I really like how wildly dissimilar each instructor is from the next. There’s definitely  no predictability with these guys. I’ll keep you posted on how everything goes! Wish me luck.

Short Link:  http://ow.ly/imASN

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Literary Resolutions 2013 . . . And a Tomato For Good Measure

Posted on January 19, 2013

Yes, it’s a little late. But I am ahead of those who are already seeing the doomed failure of their overly ambitious resolutions. That’s why “eat less cake” is not on my resolutions list. Besides, I still have 11 months and ten-ish days to follow through on my literary resolutions. Last year, I wrote a bit of a half-arsed resolutions post that wasn’t even titled a Literary Resolutions post – that’s how half-arsed it was. But I did make a reasonable attempt at more realistic resolutions. I only had three resolutions, two I didn’t accomplish, and one was so vague that any mild attempt made would be considered a success. So, yes, I was extremely successful in accomplishing Resolution #1. This year, I’m going to make the list longer, be more specific, and really try to make an effort to follow through on all of them.

One of the things I am grateful for is that I have the CUNY Wrtiters’ Institute to instill a fear of deadlines, starting in just a week with two editors I am very excited about:  John Freeman of Granta, and Kent Caroll of Europa, in addition to meeting with Patrick Ryan (associate Editor at Granta and an author). So whether I feel inspired or in the zone, I have pages that are due, and a lot of them.

My last workshop with Jonathan Galassi was in the beginning of December, where I classily brought along homemade jello shots for the President of Farrar, Straus, and Giroux. Matt Weiland’s last workshop was two days later. And immediately after the workshop, it was like someone had switched off the telly in the middle of a riveting program. Momentarily, it was a great feeling not having impending deadlines, or having other people’s work to read and critique. But then it turned to a paralyzing fear that nothing would get done over the winter. And that’s pretty much what happened.

So I’m glad the world did not in fact end in December without my having at least rewritten one story and sent it out to any magazine. Granted, if the world had ended in December, I’d probably still be wondering whether my story had been accepted or not, but at least I would have gotten some work done over the winter. Instead, I spent way too much time watching t.v. with the family, uploading photos to Facebook, and baking up a storm for Christmas and New Year’s. Part of the reason for my inactivity was that there was way too much happening, but it was mainly that I had no concrete deadlines, where public humiliation is the immediate consequence. I also decided to complicate my life further by restructuring the tiny bit of my novel I have written by changing the POV from third to first. And that, in a nutshell, is why bugger all got done over the winter. No rewrites. No new work, unless you count me gleefully coming up with what I thought was a great title at the time for a potential story and then slamming my Mac Air shut, as I poured myself a scotch and ginger.

During the last workshop with Jonathan Galassi, we had discussed my first chapter in which my character experiences September 11 firsthand. And the feedback was really helpful, but what was especially invigorating was that during the critique, Jonathan walked all the way around the massive conference table and handed me a copy of Amy Waldman’s, “Submission,” a very thoughtful gesture, and a novel I have just started reading. I will post a review of it once I eventually finish it.

Any free time I thought I had ends this Wednesday when my semester starts back up again, with two really great classes: I’m teaching Film and Literature, and English Composition I at New Jersey City University. Added to that, we’re revamping our travel blogging site, IshqInABackpack.com, and my workshops with John Freeman and Kent Caroll start in just a week or so. Two of the major regrets I have about last semester is that I always started properly working on my story the week it was due when there really is no excuse for that. Without further burbling on, here are my literary resolutions for this year:

  • Notebook. I used to love writing in my notebook, but over the years, even my grocery list is now done on my laptop or my phone. This year, I’m bringing back the glory days of pen and paper. For at least half an hour a day. I’m even going to start writing in my monthly planner!
  • Write More. This is my last semester and I’m going to try to develop a strong work ethic by writing consistently: 3 short stories, 3 chapters of my novel, and perhaps some essays. Also, for my lovely readers I am going to write more writing related blog posts.
  • Put On Some Trousers. This is probably going to be the toughest one. To fight the urge to write in my pajamas, which usually ends up being me dozing off on the sofa or watching hours of Netflix when I’m at home. I’m going to actually get dressed and sit down to write, even at home.
  • Publishing. This is the year I publish my short stories. I will, at the very least, polish up three of my short stories and be happy with the shape they’re in, and send them off into the world.
  • As Many Tomatoes As It Takes. Sona has been talking about this tomato system for months now, using phrases like, “That story only took me two tomatoes,” and “How many tomatoes did you spend on FaceBook today?” like it’s a thing. So I’m going to give it a go too, rather than just nod or frown at her. Basically, this site assumes we don’t have attention spans beyond 25 minutes (which is not that far off. Mine is probably a little less). You start a tomato, each lasting 25 minutes, that represents a specific task to accomplish. A task can take one, two, or more tomatoes to accomplish. After every squashed tomato, an annoying buzzer rings. It’s called the Pomodoro method. I’ll let you know how it goes.
  • Reading. I’m not quite sure how or when this happened, but I’ve become a really sloppy reader. Taking in bits and pieces of books, or getting books and then letting them sit on my bookshelf. This year, I’m taking on a challenge to read 50 books a year, including some short story collections. Another aspect of this resolution is that I am going to take the time to go visit more independent bookshops and buy books from there (So excited that the independent bookstore, Word, is coming down the street from us in Jersey City!)
  • Read Debut Authors. I’m going to stop being such an elitist and take more chances with debut authors. Yes, I will buy some books from authors whose names I’m not familiar with and whose reviews I haven’t read.
  • Reading Time. I’m going to spend a few tomatoes reading. Instead of watching t.v. or grading papers before zonking out, I’m going to read something from my reading list and make it part of my routine, not just at home or at the bookshop, but also when I take the train to work. I will try to make it a habit to have a book with me at all times.

Happy New Year to all of my fellow writers and to anyone pursuing anything that takes gumption. This is the year shit gets done. “Like” this post and then log on out of FaceBook and get your Tomato On!

Short Link: http://ow.ly/imB9O

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Navdeep Singh Dhillon Reading a Short Story at the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown (FAWC)

Posted on December 17, 2012


Over the summer, I took an absolutely amazing playwriting workshop with Melinda Lopez at the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown and was excited to take part in a reading with an array of impressive talent from students in other workshops. Usually I get really bored at readings, but this was really nicely put together and organized by Cyndi Wish and the Summer 2012 interns. And I don’t say this lightly: there was some real heavyweight talent. We were all only allowed to read 1 page double spaced, which I thought was great because I didn’t have anything longer than that ready! The plays I had written all had American characters and I sound like a Texan or from the rural South whenever I put on an American accent. Plus, for my first reading since my MFA read, I wanted to keep it classy. I went a little overboard with swearing in my plays. But it was so much fun! I did, however, want to show everyone how classy and refined I am (this is where the inside joke of me being a gentleman writer began).  And the best way to do just that was by wearing shorts and a Fresno State Bulldogs t-shirt while reading a story about a violent death. No swearing though.

This is a short story, “Beautiful Country,” that has undergone quite a lot of transformations, I find it amusing that I still kept the title. Originally, during my MFA when I first wrote it, it was the story of two guys – one of them was a student (sigh, yes in an MFA workshop) and he goes to meet a friend from China. Then, specifically for the reading, I drastically changed it to a man dealing with the death of his wife and suddenly he had two daughters by the second paragraph. I reworked it significantly, squeezing an actual story out of it for my first submission at the CUNY Writers’ Institute workshop with Matt Weiland, and added a layer with sections of the Cultural Revolution that Matt promptly called a structural, “mess.”

While I didn’t convince anyone I really was much of a gentleman, as I watched this video again I was quite impressed by how I managed to pronounce all of my ts! Stay tuned!

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CUNY Writers’ Institute: Fall Semester (2012) Review With Jonathan Galassi (FSG) and Matt Weiland (W.W.Norton)

Posted on December 15, 2012

Our first semester at the CUNY Writers’ Institute officially ended with a reading at reading at the KGB Bar, where I read from the prologue of my novel, “Men With Beards.” It’s been a really fun and challenging semester, and even though I’m still not quite happy with the fact I even have a prologue (I rarely read them in novels), it’s a pretty huge deal that I’ve even gotten this thing moving in the right direction.

If it hadn’t been for the CUNY Writers’ Institute, I’d still be dawdling about letting other things take priority. But really, if it wasn’t for my amazing wife, Sona, who forced me to apply as soon as I found out about it at a reading with John Freeman (who we’re supposed to meet next semester), none of this would be happening. As with any program, there can always be improvements, but my expectations were more than met.

I already have an MFA in creative writing, so wasn’t looking to replicate that program, and I’d taken workshops in the City, which didn’t quite cut the mustard. I liked what the Writers’ Institute was offering: a chance to interact with top editors at the literary magazines and publishing houses, to learn from them, and quite frankly I was curious how they would run their workshops. An MFA workshop is fairly standard from one writer to another. You submit your work, other students read it and give you their feedback, then the professor chimes in.

Andre Aciman, director of the program and also a writer, put it quite eloquently during the welcome party. He said that a writer can only guide you in a limited way, by giving you feedback on how he or she would write a scene, or perhaps from a handful of writers they’ve read. An editor, however, reads manuscripts day in and day out, and reads voraciously, so they know a hundred different ways a scene can be written. They know what the publishing trends are, and the genesis of a book – how it even came to be.

I can’t explain how exciting that was to hear, and how grateful I was when we had our first class that it wasn’t just a crock of shit. In addition to all of that, I also wanted a program with some level of vetting, so the students weren’t just half-arsing it, or turning in gibberish, but actually had some passion and a goal they were trying to attain (even if it was vague like my, “gonna finish that novel”), and most importantly I wanted to learn from these editors and see how and what they thought of stories and publishing in general, as well as what they thought of my writing. I wanted a sense of community. And I got all of those things. I even have a small group of friends from class that I tweet at, and a handful who I hang out with before or occasionally after class. So, here are my thoughts on our two fiction workshop instructors and Andre Aciman, the head of the program.

Jonathan Galassi (Farrar, Straux, and Giroux)

The first assignment was to imitate the style of a writer whose work we liked; the second assignment was to make ourselves into a character, taking traits of ourselves, and the third was to submit a work-in-progress that incorporated all of these techniques. I quite liked the first two assignments and felt I learned a great deal from the process. I attempted to imitate Franzen’s, “Freedom,” in the way he paints a picture of an entire town and people in one sprawling long chapter. It didn’t quite work and I learned that I fucking hate the third person. Still, a great exercise. The discussion surrounding it, especially the first class, was totally useless and revolved around how amazing Charles Bucowski was, and some students going out of their way to prove how well read they were. But soon enough, we became more comfortable with the fact we were sitting at a conference table at Farrar, Straux, and Giroux, surrounded by books they had published, and the president of the company waltzed in every Tuesday evening with a Diva coffee mug.

In the second week, we had a makeup class held on a Friday and Jonathan made the mistake of bringing a bottle of wine he had in his office, along with plastic cups for everyone. And then it became a thing. Every Tuesday evening, he would have a bottle of wine and a single malt whiskey. It was pretty epic, and got us talking very quickly. Nadia, a writer who would fly in from Detroit every week just to be part of it (I kid you not) brought in brandy soaked chocolates once, and I brought in some heavy handed jello shots. I keep things classy.

Towards the end of the semester, he remarked, “I’ve never had a class who drank so much.” That’s the mark we left. Not “what a talented class,” but the class that drank a lot.

I thought the class was run very efficiently and the feedback was very interesting because often he wouldn’t comment directly on the piece, but on the genre or on the style. He’d question the use of skaz (integrating speech as part of the narrative, without quotation marks) or magical realism. For my last piece, I had some really over the top bits about 9/11.

He called me out on some factual information and then instead of saying, “This isn’t working,” which it clearly wasn’t, he brings up narrative strategies other writers who used 9/11 as a theme used, and suggested it is easier to not directly talk about 9/11, but he very casually made the statement that, although it’s more difficult to write about 9/11 the way I was doing, “it’s not impossible.” And during discussion of my piece, in which everybody told me I should write it as a flashback, he gave me a copy of “The Submission,” a first novel by Amy Waldman. It was quite a thrilling moment and a lovely way to end the semester.

One last thing about Jonathan: In November, I went to a writing conference at the New School with Sona (CLMP) and Jonathan was part of a panel with Michael Cunningham. I’m so used to seeing Jonathan every Tuesday night that it didn’t seem like a big deal he was there. As soon as he sees me, he smiles, and slaps me on the shoulder an says, “You been here all day?” And I say, “Yup.” Then he introduces me to Michael Cunningham as “this is my student.” And everybody starts crowding around me, wondering how on earth I know these guys.

Matt Weiland

Matt Weiland does not pull any punches. If he thinks a story is not working, he will call you out on it. His first words on my first story was, “great story, but what a mess.” Then he repeated the last bit a couple times, and used the word, “snow herring,” because I’d used snow way too many times in the story. It was incredible feedback, and of course, there were  couple of students in class who wanted a teacher who was nicer and less real in his feedback. I thought his feedback was great. It was incisive and straight up gangster, which is the first thought anyone who meets Matt thinks.

The workshop was run very similar to an MFA workshop, except without the bullshit comments without any support. He wouldn’t let you get away with saying something like, “the voice needs work,” without some solid proof, and had no problem disagreeing with people, and continued to keep it real even if the students thought their work was ready to be published and got a bit grumpy with the feedback.

I also liked that it was all about writing and unless there were students who insisted on speaking and rationalizing every single comment that was received, the general rule was to sit there and listen. In Jonathan’s class, he didn’t have a problem if the writer wanted to yap it up. The assignments in Matt Weiland’s class were basically submissions, and he would give us his feedback. The class was very much leaning towards the short story, although there were some novel excerpts. I liked the class, but you really have to be ready to submit and be ready to take criticism. The alternative is to receive a generic, “not interested,” letter from an editor of Matt’s caliber.

Andre Aciman

This is the dude that makes this whole thing happen. He’s a one man army and I think he likes it that way. He’s the head of the Comparative Lit program at CUNY, and has a very entertaining story about how he got into academia.He’s funny and really good with kids – Kavya had some in-depth conversations with him about her nailpolish on several occasions. It’s amazing that he manages to teach, write his novels, and still find time to do some level of marketing for events like a literary agent panel, a welcome party, or a reading.

And he’s a great moderator at these types of events because although he has a Ph.D, he is by no means an academic. He’s a straight up writer and asks questions that only a writer would ask, and has very funny anecdotes. For the agent panel, he tackled the fundamental question of why you even need an agent by relaying how he managed to publish an article in the New York Times. He tried without an agent, was promptly rejected, and that same day got an agent who submitted the very same piece, and it was accepted. His version is a lot funnier.

A program like CUNY really can only exist in NYC. I can’t see this being anywhere else, where you have access to editors who can pop over after work, or in the midst of traveling to Germany for a book festival. And it is, for the most part, largely unknown, because there isn’t enough funding for a huge marketing team, so it is strictly through word of mouth that people get to know about the program.

I found out at a random reading I went to with John Freeman of Granta, who made an offhand comment about him teaching at the Writers’ Institute, and then Sona forced me to apply, and my former MFA instructor, Steve Yarbrough, saved my ass by sending out a letter of recommendation in record speed. For the first semester, I am really pleased with the progress I’ve made and also realizing that I need to develop a strong work ethic for next semester, when things are going to get even more real.

I do wish there were more events and panels, but this is New York City, where there are events happening almost every evening. The only negative thing I have to say, is the sushi. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but every event we’ve had this semester has involved exactly two things: sushi and wine. And everytime I nibble at it, I always think the exact same thing, “Samosas would hit the spot right about now.” And then I go get some more wine and forget all about it. So far, my experience has been nothing short of amazing, and I’m looking forward to one more semester!

Vitals: The CUNY Writers’ Institute introduces talented writers to New York’s finest and most prestigious editors. The Writers’ Institute offers a one-year intensive course of instruction capped by a certificate and priceless tips straight from the intricate workings of every editor’s mind.

Short Link: http://ow.ly/imBi8

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Navdeep Singh Dhillon Reads “Men With Beards” at KGB Bar in NYC (CUNY Writers Institute)

Posted on December 12, 2012

To mark the end of our first semester at the CUNY Writers’ Institute, a reading was organized at the KGB Bar. The most entertaining part of the reading at KGB Bar & Lit Journal last night was that some of the brown folk read towards the end of the night, and two other writers used the word “sisterfucker” in their pieces, after I had initially used it in my novel excerpt for Jonathan Galassi’s workshop. I’m not saying I own the copyright to this rough translation of a popular colloquial expression, but I’m going to have to find something equally as awesome next semester and can only hope to start another trend! Here’s a video of me reading from my rough draft below:

The venue was really nice. KGB Bar is all the way in the Lower East Side, which takes some commitment to get to, but I love all the old school Soviet propaganda posters plastered all over the place, and a really steep and narrow staircase that is definitely not conducive to the amount of imported Russian vodkas and beers they serve. The room we were in was a great space. It was a nice size, with several tables and chairs, seating near the bar, a podium in the corner and red mood lighting that dimly painted the entire room. You could hear the sounds of New York from outside: fire trucks, police sirens, people arguing, car alarms, and some sounds I couldn’t make out. But the crowd was dead silent when all of us were speaking. I felt like we should be snapping our fingers like beatniks instead of clapping, which is so bourgeoisie. But I also felt like a plonker being the only one. So, I clapped.

It was a really lovely way to end the semester, although the last classes with Jonathan Galassi and Matt Weiland were pretty epic. The MC for the night – Don – has become quite a good friend. We tweet at each other and I take any opportunity to start a twitter war with him. To say I’ve had an intense few months at the CUNY Writers’ Institute is putting it mildly. It’s been quite a shock to the system having not just deadlines, but deadlines to people like Jonathan Galassi, President of Farrar, Straus, and Giroux, and Matt Weiland of Norton, as well as meeting with Patrick Ryan at Granta, who introduced me to the term “Post-Gay.” I’ll save my thoughts on the program so far for another post though. This post is about the reading and the culmination of an intense six months where things just fell into motion. Over the summer, I attended Sidak and learned a ton about Sikhism that I would never, ever, have learned anywhere else. I attended an amazing playwriting workshop at the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown with Melinda Lopez.  And since September, I have been immersed in taking all of the information and research for my novel over the past few years and weaving an actual narrative around it. Not my usual, let me give this outlining thing a go, or let me do some more research, character sketches, then get bogged down with anything else and end up changing the entire story anyway. Actual deadlines that are adhered to and honest, but very encouraging feedback from both the “instructors” and fellow writers.

For all of us, this was a pouring of soul into the writing. This reading at the Soviet themed literary KGB Bar & Lit Journal in NYC –thanks to Andre Aciman, an author himself and the director of the CUNY Writers’ Institute –was quite a momentus occasion for all of us in the fiction program at the Writers’ Institute. But for me, this was an especially moving moment because it actually feels like I’ve completed something real this semester. An actual chapter. Even if I significantly revise it, just the fact that I have it completed is a huge deal. And all those in the room at the reading were those I shared this very special moment with. The video above has the technical aspects in that the words were spoken by me. It’s the difference between the smell of a new book and downloading the same e-book on your iPad. There’s just a feeling that is missing.

The most important person there was hands down, my wife Sona, who has always supported my writing no matter how illogical the circumstances. And some of her friends from the New School MFA program she graduated from last year (2012) were also there, as were my CUNY classmates, who have seen me as I have seen them: at their most vulnerable during workshops, and have given me such a wonderful sense of community and feedback. And it was lovely seeing Erin Harris, an agent at Folio, who did an amazing job at a query letter clinic and opening lines workshop at the CLMP Literary Conference me and Sona went to in November. She also introduced me to gingerale and whiskey. My brother-in-law, Tarun and his girlfriend, Lisa, who skipped an exciting lecture on leeches in Brooklyn (That’s really what they had planned), and a special shoutout to a close friend who had a ton of stuff going on that night, but made a special effort to stay and hear me read –Hitha Prabhakar, author of “Blackmarket Billions,” who writes about two subjects you would think could not be fused: fashion and terrorism! She has an app for that.

And just because Kavya didn’t come to this one reading in no way diminishes her contribution. She was busy threatening people to come hear her Papa read, completely unprompted of course: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Cns5c5C3h8.

The experience of being at the Writers’ Institute has been really transformative and is also part of the reason I even applied to the Seven Month Writing Fellowship at the Fine Arts Work Center in Provincetown. If I didn’t have deadlines and such great feedback, I would still be dawdling about. Fingers crossed I get the fellowship! Stay tuned for the next reading . . . .

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“Books of Wonder,” New York’s Oldest and Largest Independent Children’s Bookstore Needs Your Help

Posted on November 28, 2012

Every Tuesday evening, on the way to my fiction workshop with Jonathan Galassi, I always pass by this gem of a bookstore:  Books of Wonder, New York City’s oldest and largest independent bookstore, specifically for children. Kavya, my two- and- a- half- year-old daughter, absolutely loves coming here and because it’s an independent bookstore, it just feels cozier than going to Barnes and Noble, even though some of the time the books are exactly the same. It’s partly because it is conveniently located to the PATH train that takes us back home to Jersey City (reprezent), but it’s also because we often see Peter Glassman, the owner, walking around, laughing and chatting it up. Sometimes at events, other times just randomly when we’re there. There are brightly colored seats right up front, where we used to have cupcakes and coffee, and lots of bean bags and kid friendly seats and benches. Whenever I walk by it, I usually pop in, but I will always glance at the window display. This month, it’s in celebration of the 80th birthday of one of my favorite books when I was growing up: Babar.

Mention the name Books of Wonder to anyone in the New School’s Writing for Children MFA program where Sona Charaipotra and her homegirls at TeenWritersBloc graduated, and they know exactly what you’re talking about. It’s their joint, and even after graduating it continues to be. Sona’s classmates, who have published books have done readings or panels here, such as Mary G. Thompson who, along with a few other writers, was part of a panel discussion about her frightening Middle Grade Book, Wuftoom, that helps children realize there are other things to be frightened of than just vampires and ghosts. Like worms.


Earlier this month when I heard that Books of Wonder had started a fundraising campaign on Indigo, I was quite shocked. I just assumed it would magically be around forever.  This is just like “Sleepless in Seattle,” except there’s no evil corporation and the owner of this independent bookshop, Peter Glassman, isn’t a sexy blonde, nor is he looking for love in an AOL chatroom. But other than that, this is exactly like that. The situation is not a dramatic plea for donations or this independent bookshop will close its doors forever. But because of unforseen expenses – the Cupcake Cafe that was housed in Books of Wonder closed down a year ago, and the bills started piling up.

There is less than a day to go and they’ve raised an impressive $59,174 towards there $100,000 goal. Help support this fine bookshop by donating to their Indigo campaign, or if you’re reading this post after the fact, please spend your money here if you’re buying children’s books.

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Introducing Short Story Writer – Jim Gavin, Author of Middle Men Coming in February 2013

Posted on November 19, 2012

A few weeks ago, Sona and I went out for date night and went to the place nerds go to be romantic: the bookshop. Typically, we hold hands and look dreamily in each other’s eyes as we walk through the doors, then almost immediately mad dash it in opposite directions; Sona grabs a stack of writing magazines and the latest Young Adult novel, while I head straight for adult fiction. Eventually, we find each other again and sit across from each other at a table, occasionally lifting our heads up to talk to each other as we sip on coffee and carefully maneuver the pastry, fork, and the stacks of books and magazines we’ve piled up. And to us, it is incredibly exciting and romantic.

And our daughter loves going to various bookshops in the City too. There are a couple joints in New York City we really love, especially the Strand Bookstore, McNally Jackson, and Books of Wonder, which are all kickass bookstores with great readings and the latter two also have some wonderful storytime readings for Kavya, our two-year-old daughter. Well, not specifically just for her, but kids in her age range. Anyway, the last time me and Sona went on our incredibly romantic date, I read three of my go-to literary magazines: Granta, The Paris Review, and the New Yorker. And then returned to the magazine rack, before going to the fiction section, when a magazine fell from the sky. That’s exactly how it happened.

Jim Gavin is a short story writer and the author of Middle MenIt was the quarterly, Zoetrope, created by Francis Ford Coppola, where they only publish short fiction and one act plays. You would think that this would be the highlight of the date, but it got even better. One of the stories in the Fall 2012 issue of Zoetrope (it’s a quarterly) was by Jim Gavin called “Bermuda,” a really funny and utterly depressing story. I loved the voice, which I’m a big sucker for. And just when I thought it couldn’t get any better, it does just that because although it’s a very SoCal story, there is a character with a bandage around his head who needs to get to my hometown of Fresno!  Without giving the story away, here’s some lines I jotted down:

“She’d always felt uncomfortable in bars, the expression on her face too hostile to attract friendly people, but not hostile enough, apparently, to repel lunatics. Soon after arriving, she’d gone alone to a show at Al’s Bar. Before the first band went on, a man with an Ace bandage wrapped around his head asked if she could drive him to Fresno. “ASAP,” he’d said, tapping her shoulder.”

And some genuine moments of closeness:

“You’re the only thing I’m good at,” I said. I waited for her to laugh; instead, she curled her fingers into mine.”

You can also check out an excerpt of Bermuda here.  When I got home, I started googling  Jim Gavin and found that it’s apparently a fairly common name. There’s one Jim Gavin who writes pulp fiction, and another who writes celebrity biographies. The one I was looking for was  a plumbing salesman, who made his debut in the New Yorker with “Costello,” in 2010 and had his uncompleted short story collection bought by Simon and Schuster, which is coming out in February 2013. Many have probably already read the interview with Deborah Treisman, editor of the New Yorker, but here it is anyway: New Yorker Interview with Jim Gavin. On a side note, I met Deborah Treisman briefly at McNally Jackson at a great panel called “Beyond The Slushpile”and thought she was great. Last year, she taught the fiction workshop at the CUNY Writing Institute and wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought she would be.

I thought it was a good interview, but the interview I found much more interesting was the one he did for UCLA Extension, where he studied fiction: Interview at UCLA. I loved how down to earth he is and that he put in a lot of work to be where he is, even though he does call getting published, “a lucky break.” I encourage everyone to stop dawdling about and go pick up the Fall 2012 issue of Zoetrope, Volume 16, just so you can read Jim Gavin . And no, I’m not receiving a cut from Zoetrope or from Jim Gavin, although that would be the moral thing for both of them to do.  His short story collection, Middle Men, comes out February 2013 and costs just $13 or so for a hardcover. I haven’t read it yet, but if the stories are anything like the two I’ve already read, I am super excited about it. Pre-order it on Amazon.

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Meet The Agents Panel At The CUNY Writers’ Institute!

Posted on November 16, 2012

As I’ve mentioned in my other posts about the CUNY Writers Institute, what I am really enjoying about the program is just how accessible the editors are and the fact that every Tuesday and Thursday evening, we get to sit down at a table with these top editors at very reputable publishing firms. Both Matt Weiland of W.W. Norton and Jonathan Galassi of Farrar, Straus, and Giroux have been very forthcoming with their feedback and their time. But there is still much of the business side of things that remain very much a mystery. So the agent panel the department organized was very informative. While I won’t go as far as saying it completely demystified the agent process, it was definitely a wonderful introduction to that side of things. I only wish we had more of these sorts of panels and discussions! Check out the site for specific details about the agents (and the program) here: CUNY Writers’ Institute Website.

CUNY Writers' Fellow, Navdeep Singh Dhillon

The pages are blank because of my flash. Just thought I’d point that out.

The event took place on Wednesday, October 17, 2012 from 6:30 – 8:30 p.m. in the Skylight Room of the CUNY Graduate Center. And as usual, there was sushi and wine. Fortunately, I had scarfed down a massive shawerma across the street from the Strand Bookstore, where I sometimes do some writing in the children’s section or the rare books floor you have to take a secret elevator to get to. The rare books section, incidentally, is  where Kavya once tried to eat an expensive copy of The Velveteen Rabbit, so I try to restrain myself when I’m there on my own! Then I legged it like I was mad all the way to 35th and 5th for the Agent Panel. Burned those calories right up.

Here’s what the CUNY site says about it (the agent panel, not the sushi and wine, although Andre Aciman should make an official statement about that too) :

“Meet four enterprising agents who will discuss what it is that an agent does and why agents have become so necessary to the success of today’s writer.”

CUNY Writers Institute Meet The Agents Panel: Literary Agent Julie Barer of Barer literary, PJ Mark of Janklow & Nesbit, Irene Skolnick of Irene Skolnick Agency, and Dorian Karchmar of William Morris Endeavor (WME)

From Left: Julie Barer, Dorian Karchmar, PJ Mark, and Irene Skolnick

The four agents who spoke were 1) Julie Barer of the Barer Agency, 2) Dorian Karchmar, an agent at William Morris Endeavor (WME), 3) PJ Mark, a literary agent and Vice President at Janklow & Nesbit Associates, and 4) Irene Skolnick who runs her own agency.

The event started with the usual laid back feel of being in the skylight room: constant chatter, friendly faces, and my man Huzie, originally from North Carolina, cheerfully pouring glass after glass of white or red wine in plastic cups. The table towards the wall was laden with sushi wrapped in various fruits. The agents sat down at the panel table and Andre Aciman, the director of the program, moseyed on up to the podium and talked a little about the Writers Institute, and then about a really interesting aspect of his own life that I doubt you would know about if you hadn’t been there. Or weren’t reading this blog post. He tackled the obvious question:  “Why do you need an agent?” He very humorously talked about how he sent an essay he had written directly to the editor of a column at the New York Times that was called “Ask Men” at the time. He had been reading the column for a while and thought that his writing would fit perfectly. Unfortunately, the editor did not and promptly rejected the piece. That same day he got an agent for his memoir, Out of Egypt, and the agent sent the exact same piece to the same editor, and it was immediately accepted for publication. That, in a nutshell, is why you need an agent.

The first of the panelists to speak was Julie Barer, who I thought was very well spoken, and I loved that she was quite feisty and didn’t mince her words. Surprisingly, even though she said things like “don’t waste my time,” and “I find it insulting to be queried something I clearly don’t represent. Go to my website,” she came across as very personable, funny, and someone who clearly knows the business from the inside out. Plus, it’s common courtesy to at least google someone before you query them. Her submissions page clearly lists the type of work she’s interested in, and what she isn’t. She likened her job to the movie, Jerry Maguire, about the sports agent played by Tom Cruise. And she says she uses the line, “Help me help you” daily.

I thought Dorian Karchmar of William Morris was very intelligent. She told us about how her father had started a Jazz record company out of “sheer passion and chutzpah.” They did everything from marketing, clean up, and all of the grunt work required to make sure the business stayed afloat. And that’s the work ethic she brings to being an agent. As a fellow writer, who received her MFA in non-fiction, she had some great words of advice to give us, starting with, “Yes, it’s about selling your book and making money, but whether you go with a small firm or a large one, at the heart it’s really about your relationship with an individual agent.”

PJ Mark of Janklow & Nesbit  was quite funny, but could switch to being very serious without any real warning. I would hate to negotiate things like money with this guy. He  had started a literary magazine in college, which did not do well, but it got him known because it made a bit of a splash in the literary scene. He had studied at Hunter College and started as a book scout and spent 20 years in various jobs in the industry before being where he is today: the Vice President of Janklow & Nesbit. He does 70% literary fiction and looks for “the most unexpected things.”

 

Irene Skolnick was lovely. Unlike the other agents at the panel, she was very animated and talked with her hands, which made it very entertaining to listen to her speak. It was like chatting with a family member. She had the most unusual trajectory to how she got where she is today: owner of Irene Skolnick Literary Agency. She studied anthropology, of all things, and got her first job in the industry “as a lark.” While everyone had some pretty kickass soundbites, she started it off pretty early, summing it all up with, “An agent is to a publisher as a knife is to a throat.” She also talked about the varying relationships between agents and authors, and how she takes on authors based on how interested she is in the project.

Because Andre Aciman is not just some academic/administrator and a working writer, he asked some great questions to keep the discussion moving. Rather than asking for generalities, he asked the agents to give us one specific piece of advice for writers in the beginning stages of their careers and both Dorian and Julie Barer jumped right in.

Dorian Karchmar began with, “Getting an agent is the last step,” which you would think this is obvious, but often it is thought to be a mark of accomplishment, especially with some of the MFA programs today, where the quicker you get published, the more you are considered a success. Julie added to that by telling us to slow down, because absolutely nothing is lost by taking the time to “get the work where the work needs to be.”

One of the questions I asked was one that I was expecting a wishy-washy answer to. I asked whether they take on short story collections, or if it’s in conjunction with a novel. Initially, the answers were a resounding, “Of course we would take it on if the quality was good and the subject material was interesting.” Then Julie  chimed in with a lilt in her voice as she said, “But. . .” leaned forward and continued, “Do you have a novel? will be the next question because short story collections, unfortunately, don’t sell well.” And that sentiment, everyone resoundingly agreed with. Julie  did not water down anything when she said the most fantastic thing I have ever heard anyone say with such passion and conviction, “Be a reader. If for no other reason than for the karmic reason of paying it forward. If someone walks into an independent bookstore and buys your book and you don’t do the same, shame on you.” Then she folded her arms and sank back into her chair. PJ said that the reason the market for short story collections isn’t strong is because we aren’t buying them. And we’re the market. “Buy short story collections. Nobody else is.” And I couldn’t agree with that idea more. I also liked that Julie subtly used the phrase, “walk into an independent bookstore,” to make two very solid points without hammering anyone over the head with them. The obvious point of supporting the industry by buying books.  The final two points they all made were that when you approach an agent, make sure you have a) researched them so you aren’t wasting your time or the agent’s time, and b) the importance of being able to eloquently talk about yourself as a writer and your work. All of them suggested studying the flap copy of different novels.

PJ Mark offered some great insight into how much energy an agent puts into the relationship, that it is not just about the money, and the other agents also made it a point to always be comfortable in the relationship. PJ also noted that there has to be a constant state of enthusiasm because the agent will give the writer notes to make the work better, so it is in great shape before it is even sent to an editor, and sometimes those edits can take ages. Some writers don’t like that much intrusion, while others like the hand-holding. “Our job,” PJ  said, “is to strike a balance. To push a writer to improve their story without intruding on their vision.” Over the weekend, he’d spent two hours chatting via Skype to one of his authors about revision notes. I am thankful I’m in New York, because I can’t think of anything stranger than that!

The funniest line of the evening, however, was in response to what I thought was a bit of a dull question, considering nobody had asked anything about query letters or any other agent related questions: “Do any of you still do your own writing?”

PJ’s response: “Making the sausage is different than being the sausage.”

Truer words have never been spoken.

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