This is a short story, “Beautiful Country,” that has undergone quite a lot of transformations, I find it amusing that I still kept the title. Originally, during my MFA when I first wrote it, it was the story of two guys – one of them was a student (sigh, yes in an MFA workshop) and he goes to meet a friend from China. Then, specifically for the reading, I drastically changed it to a man dealing with the death of his wife and suddenly he had two daughters by the second paragraph. I reworked it significantly, squeezing an actual story out of it for my first submission at the CUNY Writers’ Institute workshop with Matt Weiland, and added a layer with sections of the Cultural Revolution that Matt promptly called a structural, “mess.”

While I didn’t convince anyone I really was much of a gentleman, as I watched this video again I was quite impressed by how I managed to pronounce all of my ts! Stay tuned!

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Aside from not being a dog, or having a drinking problem, or being homies with a diabolical, talking baby, this is exactly what “working on my novel” has been like. At least for the last two years when all the research needed for the narrative is, in a sense, sorted. This is still a hilarious clip (note to my dad: this is how you use the word “hilarious,” not to randomly describe things like scuba diving, clothing, or hamburgers.) But it is less funny when I think about myself as Brian Griffin. Fortunately, I can’t sustain such introspective and deep thoughts while watching Family Guy for very long. In case it isn’t clear, this is a slightly late New Year’s Resolution Post. Yes, eleven days late. So what?

As I was saying . . .

At some point between my birthday and the end of the year, I make a perfectly plausible New Year’s resolution: to carve out some writing time and get that novel I’m working on finished. Then I write other detailed resolutions that expand and strengthen the initial resolution. I also throw in some I’m going to exercise and drink more smoothies.

Last year, I even attempted to do NaNoWriMo in November, which didn’t go quite as well as I’d hoped. In fact, it went in the opposite direction. If you’re wondering why my NaNo word count widget is still stuck in November, it isn’t the result of laziness; it’s because that’s the last time I even looked at my story, let alone touched it, and I mean that in a completely normal way.

While I would like to blame Kavya, my two year old daughter, for my lack of time, energy, motivation, inspiration, etc. I can’t. Nor can I blame my hectic work schedule. It’s not that hectic, or draining.  The real issue really boils down to. Well, me. I am not looking at writing fiction as a job, and I probably should start doing that. There is no divine inspiration, or sage advice to gleam from writing books or magazines. The bottom line is that I have to write like it’s a job.

When I write freelance articles and essays, I know someone is going to pay me as soon as I finish it. Even when I grade papers or write up lesson plans/syllabi, I know at the end of the 4 month semester, I will be paid for my effort. Writing fiction is totally different. There is no guarantee of anything. Not of payment. Not of publication, or the time frame. As Victor Frankenstein says to Robert Walton in Letter IV of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein: “Unhappy man, do you share my madness?” Yep. I do, homeboy.

After my five days of NaNo and my pitiful November word count, I felt a bit bummed and even as I write this post, I still haven’t looked at my writing. But clearly, I wasn’t that distraught because it didn’t stop me from livin’ it up on a holiday to Hawai’i for Christmas.

So, rather than making a huge New Year’s Resolution post filled with lofty goals, this year I have exactly two writing related goals:

1) To get organized and start taking my writing seriously, instead of waffling about. That wasn’t really a goal, more an offhand inner thought that somehow made it to #1 on my resolutions.

2) I’m going to post a monthly word count in the sidebar, and try to gear myself up for NaNoWriMo. This is the year I finish my novel.

3) Read more. Maybe post some reviews on here of some of the books I’ve read.

I’ll end this post with another inspirational video by the best writing mentor anyone could hope to have:

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WEEK ONE : TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 1 – MONDAY, NOVEMBER 7, 2011

Weekly Word Count Goal: 1,644 x 7 = 11,508
Actual Weekly Word Count: 6,200

Total Words Written: 6,200/50,000

The Good: I am excited that my novel is finally taking shape and that I’m not constantly second-guessing the story, the characters, or the narrative structure of the entire thing. I am also very pleased with the progress and the fact that I am sitting down to write. So, I am at peace with the progress I am slowly making.

The Not So Good: My progress could obviously be better. I do need to stop dwelling on refining sentences and move forward with the plot. But most importantly, I really need to carve out time from my schedule because otherwise, everything else will take precedence. Even though, I’ve only hit 53% of the NaNoWriMo goal, it is a 53% boost from where my writing was at on October 31st. This coming week will be better. Wish me luck!

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DAY SIX: SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 6, 2011

Start Time: 2:30 pm
End Time: 3:00pm
Today”s Word-count: 17 (no, that isn’t a typo!)

Total Words Written: 4,200/50,000 (from Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four and Day Five)

The Good: We got to Cape May in good time. The room is lovely as is the beach and the weather is nice. Kavya is thoroughly enjoying herself.

The Not So Good: I got so bloody knackered that I completely zonked out when we came into the room. I did sort of work on my writing for about half an hour, from 230pm to 3pm, but I got 17 words that I think mostly consisted of vowels and were refining sentences that were already there. So I’m definitely not pleased about my progress today.

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DAY FIVE:  SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 2011

Start Time: 9:30 pm
End Time:  11pm
Today”s Word-count: 2,000! ! !

Total Words Written: 4,200/50,000 (from Day One, Day Two, Day Three, and Day Four)

The Good: Not only did I get to hang out with Kavya during the day, but I put in a major dent into my story. While there was some dilly dallying with refining bits and pieces and stopping to add to the backstory, overall I am quite chuffed that a) I surpassed my daily goal and b) that it seems to be coalescing smoothly.

The Not So Good: This is not necessarily a negative yet, but I have a feeling I know what is going to happen tomorrow and the day after. So, starting on Sunday morning until Monday afternoon, we are going on a little family trip (just me, Sona, and Kavya) to a little seaside beach called Cape May, about a half hour from Atlantic City in New Jersey. We’ve brought our laptops, but I think it’s safe to assume bugger all is going to happen with the writing. I just don’t think we’re organized enough to switch Kavya off between the two of us so that we both get some writing time. This is the ideal situation, but hopefully it will just be too cold that we stay indoors the whole time, Kavya sleeps the entire time, and we do some hardcore writing. Yep. That’s what might happen. I am of course very happy with my word count today, but it’s not so much that I can take so many holidays of having days with word counts of ZERO. Wish me luck!

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DAY FOUR: NOVEMBER 4, 2011

Start Time: None
End Time: None
Today”s Word-count: A Big FAT zero

Total Words Written: 2,200/50,000 (from Day One and Day Two)

The Not so Good: Kavya wasn’t feeling well, so we kept her at home, which meant I got woken up by Kavya saying hello to me and wanting me to read her one of the gabillion Elmo books on the shelf to her. I also had grading to do, which would have taken me about an hour to do, but ended up taking about seven because Kavya kept running away with my papers or wanting me to take a break and clap my hands like a mental patient. So, basically I was absolutely knackered by the time evening rolled around and I made a half-hearted attempt to look at my story, but ended up falling asleep. Tomorrow is Saturday and some words need to get written!

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DAY THREE:  NOVEMBER 3, 2011

Start Time: None
End Time: None
Today”s Word-count: A Big FAT zero

Total Words Written: 2,200/50,000 (from Day One and Day Two)

The Good: I got to hang out with Kavya. We talked about many interesting things, like lava formations on the Big Island in Hawaii; she kept saying “more” and after a pause, “waataarr” then proceeded to get the entire cushion I was sitting on, including my trousers wet. We did some yoga. She knows one move: the downward dog. This is followed by her climbing onto my head.

The Not so Good: Thursdays are my full on days where I start at 9am and come home at 4pm. The only writing I did today was while sitting on the train for about fifteen minutes, and that essentially consisted of adding a vowel or an article before closing my laptop back up and walking home.  And as soon as I came home, I took a nap. Then I woke up and Kavya was climbing onto me, saying, “Papa, Elmo?” followed by her flinging herself over to the bookshelf to get a book and wanting me to read it to her. So that was the end of my night. Tomorrow doesn’t look all that promising either as we are headed to Sona’s mum and dad’s after my class at S.V.A. and have a fun trip planned for Sunday and Monday to Cape May. So, I am hoping that I keep my momentum going and it doesn’t flatline because I have  a novel to write!

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DAY TWO:  NOVEMBER 2, 2011

Start Time: 9:30 am
End Time: 2:00 pm
Today”s Word-count: 1,000/1,644
Total Words Written: 2,200/50,000

The Good: I did force myself to sit down and write. And I am pleased with the progress I am making and with where the story is going and how it’s taking shape. Plus, so far, I haven’t veered off my outline . . . although I’m not moving forward with the plot either. I am trying not to be overly critical and getting too bogged down with the minutia of perfecting my sentences and ideas.

The Not so Good: I dawdled a bit too much during my writing time. I had five hours to write, but a lot of it was taken up by looking up names of Bollywood films I’m referencing in the opening and on youtube videos and articles on Bollywood star, Amitabh Bachchan’s link to inciting mob violence in 1984. Yes, research. It wasn’t necessary. I am also not thrilled I didn’t meet my full word count for yesterday and today, but I am pleased I’m writing. I did still refine and added bits to the first part of the novel, rather than ploughing straight ahead. I’m also needlessly concerned about tomorrow when I have a full teaching load. I should have just concentrated on today and gotten my writing sorted.

Overall: I didn’t get completely bogged down in making the sentences and ideas flow perfectly, and I am happy that I am writing with a direction, so I don’t feel like I’m wasting my energy in developing plot points or characters that aren’t going anywhere (as has happened in the past). I may have stopped the narrative a wee bit with the description and introduction of the sister character in a flashback that wasn’t there before. Hey, I did say I am trying not to be overly critical! So, overall, I feel like I’m making good progress.

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NOVEMBER 1, 2011

Start Time: 9:00 am
End Time: 11:00 am
Today”s Word-count: 1,200/1,644
Total Words Written: 1,200/50,000

I didn’t hit my exact word count, but so far, so good, athough I did a lot of refining and I did still go back and edit. I’ve actually sat down and written more than I have in the past year and am actually progressing with my novel. So hip, hip hurray for me.

I attempted to write my novel during National Novel Writing Month in 2009 (NaNoWriMo or just plain NaNo), and while I would like to blame many things other than myself for not putting in much of a dent, it was through a lack of planning. I didn’t have an outline or even a sense of where I was going. This year, I am hoping it will be different. I am going to try and write 1,600 words per day.

I found these nifty word count image meter thingies that I am going to update you with daily during November. For those of you interested in using them yourselves, they are very easy to use.

You just put in this url and change the word count, target, and mood number: http://wordmeter.heroku.com/meter/words=1200&target=1644&mood=2

This year, I made an open declaration to all those who read this blog in my resolution post, Literary New Year’s Resolutions for 2011 of my writing goals this year. The reason I made it public rather than simply scribbling it down in my journal is so people would see my progress and I would be publicly shamed if I didn’t make strides in accomplishing my set goals. So far, the only two people who bully me into admitting my failures in letting Jersey Shore or FaceBook trump my writing goals are Sona Charaipotra (that’s my wife) and Dhonielle Clayton, her classmate, fellow fiction writer and homegirl at the New School’s MFA program, and blogger extraordinarie at TeenWritersBloc.com

You will find a public display of my inadequacies and . . . adequacies. No, that’s not the right word. My successes and failures – that sounds better – in keeping up with my writing goals for the next 30 days – click tab above that says “NaNoWriMo” or (check out http://www.navdeepsinghdhillon.com/category/nanowrimo). According to my New Year’s post, every week, I aimed to write 3 days a week, 500 words per session. So 1,500 words per week. It’s now November and my word count is at 0. So slightly short. This month for National Novel Writing Month, I’m going to put in a more respectable effort. Bullies welcome. Caste no bar.

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Two Novembers ago, I attempted to write 50,000 words – a completed novel – during National Novel Writing Month, most commonly referred to as NaNoWriMo, and those in a love-hate relationship with it refer to as NaNo. It has become a perfectly acceptable verb to use during November: “Are you NaNo-ing?” “How’s your NaNo-ing going,” or in my case, “Sod this Nano-ing. I’m NaNo-ed out of my head. ” Of course, I didn’t mean it. I have mad love for NaNo. But also mad hate. While I was doing it in 2009, it was definitely mad hate. And the whole of last year was filled with mad-guilt. This year, thanks to a great chat with Sona and Dhonielle, where I was forced (literally) to break down my story, I’m starting NaNo on a more cheerful and optimistic note. So yes, mad love for now.

Writing, like many other creative fields, is an incredibly lonely and isolating thing to do. It’s difficult being anti-social, not so you can put your feet up and unwind, but so you can sit in a corner of your house with a laptop. So two of the things I like about NaNo is that it connects you with a quarter of a million people around the world who are all trying to write a novel, and there are some amusing “pep talks” by established novelists. All of the participants, especially the aspiring novelists, are  thinking This is the year. Very few will be disciplined enough to actually write 1,667 words a day, and make it to the full 50,000. What it gives aspiring novelists is a community and above all, hope. The hope that this year they can put a dent in their novel, maybe finish it, maybe even publish it.

I am particularly excited this year because I have an outline! And I am finally comfortable with the characters I am populating the first part of my novel with, the narrative, and most importantly, I feel confident in the research component. As many of you know, I have been in research mode for several years now, and it is very addictive once you start. First I was researching Punjab in the 1980s, then key figures in the movement in India, Canada, the U.K, as well as speaking to as many people who would speak about the issues. And then there were all sorts of uncovered avenues I hadn’t read about. My wife, Sona Charaipotra, suggested I completely change any semblance of a narrative I had when I added September 11 into the backdrop. And the research for that started. To find out more details about my novel, click here.

Two years ago, I wrote about 1,500 words, and I broke two of the cardinal rules of NaNo: 1) I started criticizing what I’d written, and 2) I blasphemously started editing. All of the 1,500 of the words I wrote have since been destroyed, replaced by other words. Initially, they weren’t better words, but were different words. Some versions started in 1947, others in 1957, and still others in present day California or 2001 New York. I aged the main character from 16 to 27 and now down to 18. The story has taken on many different narrative approaches from flashback, first person, to straight linear, and various forms of third person. In-between all of this, I went back to researching, returned to my fiction and I destroyed the words again, only to use way too much exposition and backstory, all perils of transitioning back to fiction after being in “research mode.”

One of the difficult things about my novel is that I am taking two incredibly emotional events, which are still very fresh in the minds of many, and I am trying to weave a narrative that involves real events, and complicated fictionalized characters with real life problems, while still trying to remain true to facts and a version of reality. Striking a balance between creating real emotional depth and writing melodrama is no easy task. And as much as I like blaming external forces that infringe upon my time, the truth is the only factor that has kept me from proceeding with my writing is me. I quickly realized that I needed an outline , but had no idea how to do it, and still had reservations about it.

I first started writing short-stories, which is where my love for fiction started, and my strategy for writing them has and will probably always involve writing without an outline (but never say never). The ideas develop organically and because there are such a limited number of pages, it is easy to focus it and to see an end in sight (link on my thoughts on the M.F.A) . My novel has turned out to be a very different beast because of the complicated layering of the characters, with the constantly changing narrative (and plot) of the subject I am attempting to convey, especially because of the time line. I know many novelists who cannot work without an outline (like Sona and Dhonielle), and plenty who work without it and like the flexibility of following an idea or train of thought that naturally develops, like Corey Haydu, a New York City based novelist and playwright.

A few days ago, I sat down with  Sona and Dhonielle, at the Brownstone Diner in Jersey City. And they both helped me to really break down my story and write an outline!. While I chatted with Dhonielle, who is no-nonsense when it comes to getting real, even when pancakes are involved. Questions like, “then what happens?” and comments like “that doesn’t make any sense,” forced me to really think about where the story was headed or where I wanted it to go. Sona, meanwhile, added her thoughts as well, but was mainly writing out the major plot points and character traits with different colored markers on multi-colored notecards. There was also rope involved, but we didn’t get that far. We sat there for a good three hours and I had the first five chapters outlined. I found it incredibly helpful to be able to talk it out with someone who forced me to address the dreaded “and then?” without getting sidetracked, and also to have written copy to keep me on track. The outline did have many specific ideas in it, but it wasn’t so specific that I felt constricted.

So, thanks to Sona and Dhonielle, I now at least have a solid idea of where my story is headed. Let’s see how that goes . . .

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